


Making Angel Smile

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Community: comment_fic, Episode: s05e12 You're Welcome, F/M, Ficlet, Friendship/Love, Introspection, Kissing, POV Cordelia Chase, Retrospective, Smile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 03:26:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9529643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: When she became friends with Angel and learned just how deep his guilt and sorrow ran, she was determined to make him stop brooding all the damn time. Cordelia was proud to say that over their time together, she had gotten more than a few laughs and smiles out of him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the following prompt on comment-fic (http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/591441.html?thread=82615633#t82615633): any Whedonverse. any&any (or any/any)
> 
>  _If I could, I'd only want to make you smile_  
>  If you were to stay with me a while  
> (Make You Smile - +44)
> 
> There's a couple of scenes mentioned from Buffy the Vampire Slayer from Prophecy Girl (1.12) and Halloween (2.06), but this is still mostly a fic for Angel: the Series.

The first time Cordelia had seen Angel's smile had been after Buffy defeated the master when the group was standing in the library of Sunnydale High. Angel was already salty goodness without the smile, and with it, he was even cuter.  
  
But it was nothing compared to later, when they were at the Halloween party at the Bronze and had gotten to talking because Devon had flaked on her and Buffy hadn't shown up yet. She actually made him laugh and grin with her description of the terrible seats in Devon's car and that had been a sight to behold.  
  
In Sunnydale, she hadn't really gotten a chance to know Angel because he was Buffy's paramour and she only had a tenuous connection to the Scoobies at best. But that changed in L.A. when they became best friends, and then...  
  
_And then..._  
  
And then, nothing, because when they could have had the chance to become more than best friends, Cordelia missed the signs at first. Later, when she was no longer blind, she was manipulated into ascending to the higher realms instead of meeting him to talk that night.  
  
She remembers her own pain filled voice asking, "Why does this have to be  _now_?" She recalls her acceptance of what she believed was her duty, what happened after when she returned to Earth, first with no memories and then later as the husked-out shell for Jasmine. She tries not to think of that year, but it's still there, sitting like a terrible weight between her and all of her friends, the fact that a monster wore her face to hurt everyone Cordelia cared about.  
  
When she became friends with Angel and learned just how deep his guilt and sorrow ran, she was determined to make him stop brooding all the damn time. Cordelia was proud to say that over their time together, she had gotten more than a few laughs and smiles out of him. Sometimes, it was just a simple close-lipped smile, but on other occasions, she had made Angel laugh or grin more brightly than she ever would have expected from him, more than she thought his introverted and ruminating demeanor would allow.  
  
(Angel hasn't had many reasons to smile this past year. Cordelia tries not to think about that either.)  
  
This last day was to set him back on his path, but it's for her too. She cherishes the smiles that have been on his face the past couple of days, because she knows that she put them there. When Angel says that he's more confident now about getting through all of this, she can tell that he believes it.  
  
That's why she hates this next part, when she is forced to break his heart.  
  
The grief etched on his face when she tells him she must leave is too much for Cordelia to stand. She smiles when she says goodbye to him in the vain hope that it might make Angel look less miserable, but Angel must be able to tell how fake it is. She was never that good an actor, and she's practically on the verge of crying herself.  
  
That's why she turns back instead of walking away. She can't let her last memory of Angel be one where he's so depressed. And maybe there's a part of her that's still selfish, that wants what she wanted that first night she saw him in the Bronze, one, genuine kiss from Angel. But now she wants it even more. Now she knows that one kiss or even a thousand kisses will never be enough, not when she has to leave him.  
  
Before their lips meet, Angel is grinning, and he's smiling when the telephone rings and she pulls away to give him an Eskimo kiss. She sends him off to go answer the telephone call, and there's a small part of her that's glad she won't have to see his face once he receives the news.   
  
"Oh, and, you're welcome." Cordelia gives Angel one last tiny smile, so much like his own, and it's filled with sadness and a longing she never really got to express. And then she's gone.


End file.
